The Declaration of Inconvenience and Mild Disgruntlement

"We have to be able to talk about race, and we have to be able to talk about racism, and we have to be able to have those conversations." - Kamala Harris

When, in the course of corporate operations, it becomes necessary for one group of employees to dissolve the technological and procedural bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the office, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Efficiency and Reason entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of the colleagues requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all employees are created with varying degrees of competence, that they are endowed by their managers with certain inalienable rights, that among these are the right to reasonable workloads, the right to adequate resources, and the right to not have to answer the same question for the fifteenth time in a day. That to secure these rights, efficient systems are instituted among people, deriving their just powers from clearly defined objectives and measurable outcomes. That whenever any Form of Management becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Management, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Productivity and Well-being. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Systems long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that colleagues are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of inefficiencies and abuses, pursuing invariably the same Object, demonstrates a design to reduce them under absolute Bureaucracy, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Management, and to provide new Guards for their future Security. Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colleagues; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Operation. The history of the present Management is a history of repeated interferences and obstructions, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these Employees. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world. - They have refused their Assent to fundamental best practices, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good. - They have forbidden their Colleagues to enact policies of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till their Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, they have utterly neglected to attend to them. - They have refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large groups of employees, unless those colleagues would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only. - They have called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the public repository of their Official Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with their measures. - They have dissolved Representative Offices repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness their invasions on the rights of the workforce. - They have refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the Office remaining in the meantime exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within. - They have endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of New Colleagues; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Funding. - They have obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing their Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers. - They have made Judges dependent on their Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries. - They have erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance. - They have kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Committees without the Consent of our legislatures. - They have affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power. - They have combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving their Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

• For Quartering large bodies of armed office drones among us:
• For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
• For cutting off our trade with all parts of the world:
• For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
• For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
• For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
• For abolishing the free System of Office Policies in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
• For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
• For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
• They have abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of their Protection and waging War against us.
• They have plundered our budgets, ravaged our coastlines, burnt our offices, and destroyed the lives of our people.
• They are at this time transporting large Armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
• They have constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
• They have excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Management, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free workforce. Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Management. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our employment and our condition. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends. We, therefore, the Representatives of the united Employees of this Office, in General Assembly, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent Workplaces; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the current Management, and that all political connection between them and the State, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent Workplaces, they have full Power to levy war, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Workplaces may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honour.